Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Late, Again

It finally happened and we lived through the whole experience. He (being my husband of fifty years) had that open heart surgery and his aortic valve was replaced with a cow's valve. When he heard that it would be a bovine graft, he wanted "a bull's valve". I suppose they used the cow valve, so I could not tell him he is full of bull! Sometime later, when he is not so weak and debilitated, I will tell him what a pain in the arse he was asking the same questions and making the same statements over and over. I know I would react the exact same way, if I could do nothing for six weeks. Thank God for the T.V. It has only been eleven days and things are just fine, but I am wearing down. However, if I allow myself to think of what I would have done had he died --- too much to even contemplate. You, who are young and own the world have no idea what lies ahead. If you were to think of your "golden years", you could not imagine the thoughts and feelings that ramble around in your silvered head and the regrets that multiply over the things you have never done. Do them! Get off your butts and do whatever it is that you think you will get around to someday in the distant future. It is not so distant!