WE watched FOX's "Dayside" today. They were talking about twenty-somethings who have working-world confusion and do not want to leave home or go into a lesser lifestyle. Do the people who decide how these programs are formatted not know that the same identity confusion lies at the other end of the working world? We awaken every day with a lack of purpose and a debilitating sense of ennui. At one time in our lives, we had a sense of importance and validation for taking up space with our bit of protoplasm. Surely, there is more after work is done. Our hearts hurt when we look into the mirror and see an older person and realize that there is no going back --- only forward into an unknown abyss. I don't think most people question their lives on a daily basis. They get up and live --- and then go to bed again. We, on the other hand, scrape each other raw with the desperate searching for something to do with the tiny bit of life that is left to us. We don't want to waste it, but in perusing the "great American dream", we lose sight of where we were heading fifty years ago. A lady of great beauty and grace has just stopped by and we talked of life, love, marriage and spirituality. I am left wishing I had her serenity and adaptability. Eva,--- God loves you and so do I. My thinking on old age will surely evolve as we are led along the way this spring. We will be back in Ohio, where regeneration of life is more visible than it is in Florida.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Sunday, January 16, 2005
You have to be careful what you say when you have been married forever. I opened my mouth and said, " Golly, our Florida place will probably sell like a hotcake after those dreadful hurricanes". "His Lordship" took that as permission to sell the doublewide that shelters us in the terrible winters. It didn't even take a for sale sign to accomplish the deal. The office lady sent a nice couple from Massachusetts down the road and they thought all of half an hour before offering us $30,000. more than we had in it. You just can't pass up that kind of profit, so we will be out on our behinds in another month. We are filling our senses with blue skies and sunshine, while thinking of our dear families under eight inches of snow in northwestern Ohio. We will take our personal things to a friend's brand new home for an extra month here, but have not been able to find a lot that wouldn't take more money than our farm cost in 1977. I want to travel and rent something when the winters get tough, but the husband wants to sell our real home in Ohio and live here all the time. True, Florida is beautiful, but it is also crowded with snowbirds, spring-breakers and impatient Floridians who drive like kamikaze pilots. Our kids and grands are in Ohio --- what if one of us should die? The other would be forced to live here among golden oldies who walk their dogs in baby carriges and ride three wheeled bikes. I love my Ohio home! If the snow gets up to the roof, I would shut the drapes, turn on all the lights and read books, quilt or mess with the computer, while pretending that the sun was shining outside. Meanwhile, it is too late to worry about, it is a done deal and the new "almost owners" are measuring walls and busily thinking of ways to garbage up what I have so tastefully decorated! Help! The people here don't understand the principle of less looks better and clutter is crap. I know that I will not even be able to drive by here in another month or I will cry. God --- what do You have in mind for us? You have lead us from the very beginning, when we knew You not. I will trust that You have something much better ahead and we should " Be still and know that you are GOd".