Upon Seeing the Difference Between Ages

Reading the blogs of other people, somewhat younger people --- makes me feel that the boat came in and I missed it. Their words are so upbeat and cutesy. Is it that we of a much older generation have stopped growing or is it that they think they are more chic and sophisticated than real life? At twenty, thirty and yes, even forty, we were not given the freedom to express the longings and burdens of our hearts. Alas, we come to the later years and once more have no freedom --- another generation has taken the reins from our hands and are whipping the horses into a frenzy of activity. We are clueless and limited by our narrow upbringing in the fifties. Beaver's mom truly did exist and morality was not merely an ideal of a simplistic society, but a tried and true path from which we were tempted, but afraid to stray. The unknown along the wayside held too many evils and we knew the prize that waited beside the straight path. How are young people so unafraid to try all the temptations along the way? Do their parents bail them out of trouble until they are old enough to have experienced all the unfettered joys of this world and can step onto the straight path and claim the prize? Unfair is the only word I can think in reference to the bright, new citizens of the world. We didn't get to do it all! Perhaps, I will start to live a free and spirited life when I am old enough --- old enough to "dance as though nobody is watching".

Thoughts on late life

It's late in the evening, but even later in life. Once sixty-five has come and gone, you are left looking into a glass darkly --- the things you always thought you would do someday are suddenly unimportant and not even very interesting any more. You begin wondering what was so wonderful about a trip along the "left coast highway" or seeing Vermont in the fall. Living a few more years is suddenly a priority. Seeing your grandchildren launched successfully into the world is a priority. You pray to be healthy enough to take care of yourself and your mate to the very end, without having to depend on the already overburdened children in your life. Learning that my husband will in most probability be having a couple of porcine heart valve grafts scares me for him. I don't want to be frightened, --- I want to trust in God that he will have many more years on this earth, but I wonder what life would be like without him. Unbearable! He is my best friend, companion, lover, my life as I know it. He is not afraid to die, but is afraid of the surgery. I can tell by the comments he makes. I would be scared to death to face something like that. How odd! How can you be scared to death and yet, not die? We are running around trying to fix things around the house --- against that day, or possibly to enjoy for a few more years? I watch the shows about clearing out your "stuff" and think that someday, I'll clear out some of my "stuff" so my kids won't have to go through fifty years of accumulating, but death will probably surprise me by coming when I least expect it and certainly before I am ready. I think I am having a bad day. Maybe, the sun will shine tomorrow.

I Have to Begin Somewhere

Since I have to begin somewhere, I'll begin by saying thank you to my darlin' granddaughter for showing me where to blog. Kacey