Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Word Definitions for Women

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying ---- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.


Molly said...

I've seen this before but it still made me chuckle!

Changes in the wind said...

Love the picture:)

Shelby said...

hahahaha this is so funny and so true :)

Sarge Charlie said...

thanks for you nice comment on my post

Dust-bunny said...

Thank you so much for the link you sent me! He's such a great speaker...sort of reminds me of Andy Stanley! I love messages of hope, and I thought this was great. I loved listening to it.

...Maybe you can pass onto him the circumstance concerning "getting our bibles out", LOL...I HAVE to read the screen at church, because A. the print is too small in my bible and B. I'm not familiar with the order of the books, so by the time I find the reading (and attempt to see it), the pastor is finished with it already! So just let him know that it's not because some of us are lazy...we either don't have enough experience with the bible, or we're blind, LOL!!

Hope all is well with you...BTW, I emailed Matty with the addresses you gave me, and the email came back to me saying that neither address was valid anymore. I'm concerned about her...have you heard from her, or have you heard anything? Please let me know if you do!


Loving Annie said...

This always makes me laugh !

Betty said...

Well, I've never seen this before, and I think it's funny (and probably accurate). Some of these items remind me of my mother- she definitely spoke in code!


Carine said...

LOL kacey!!! Except my son and I have told my husband when he says "It'll take me 2 seconds"-
"nothing takes you 2 seconds"!

It always takes him no less than 20 minutes.

Big Dave T said...

Yup, I knew all of those. Being married over 25 years has its educational advantages.