Are they cute, or what?

When I close my eyes very tightly, I see my children as they were. It was a time when I was their whole life, before the schools took hold of their minds and hearts and changed them into something they had not started to be.
My firstborn was the product of four years of tests, surgeries, thermometers and desperation to have a child. Luckily, God knew that children should not be born to seventeen to twenty year old moms ---- especially when the young couple didn't have enough money to feed themselves. The wait made her arrival doubley special and she was so beautiful! Pale blond hair, big blue eyes and generally adorable. What parent thinks any less of their offspring? She grew more special every day and was so smart that I was astounded. Well, I did feel pretty good about her intelligence, because my older brother had told me that drooling was a sign of idiocy --- and she did drool around seven months old.
Since it had taken four years to accomplish what most people accomplish on their honeymoons, we began trying for another child on Lesley's first birthday. Our son arrived nine days before our daughter's second birthday. Now, here was a placid, easy-going baby. I hardly remember hearing him cry and he was even happy in a playpen. Somehow, our difficulty conceiving turned around and bit us very quickly and I found myself expecting a third child forMatthew's first birhday. The poor little guy --- morning sickness forced me to shake up his vegetables and cereal in his formula so I could manage to feed him at all. I grew and grew and so did he. At twelve months, he was perfectly happy to sit or crawl, but though he was sturdy as a tree stump --- he would not walk. Why walk when somebody will cart you around and you didn't care where they were taking you? Within two weeks after his birthday, I forced him to walk by putting M&M's on the couch and making him walk to them --- no dropping and crawling! He was twenty-seven pounds on one hip and I had a six pound newborn in the other arm. Okay, Mom, ---for M&M's,--- I'll walk!
We had started out with the idea of having half a dozen kids, but having three in three years changed our minds. Stacey was born five days after Matthew's first birthday and four days before our Lesley's third birthday. This has led to what we call "Birthday Week". As they grew up, each child would pick an activity, a meal and a dessert for their own birthday and all participated in each other's day. Today, they are in their late forties and are still sharing their "Birthday Week". The best part is that it culminates on the 4th of July with fireworks for all, not just the firstborn. (I plan to tell her soon that the fireworks are not all for her --- before she turns fifty.) When I was expecting Stacey, I wanted a girl and the hubby wanted another boy. I satisfied both of us by having a lovely little girl, who was the greatest tom-boy on the block. The two little kids would play with matchbox cars, making roads around the evergreens by the front porch for hours. The guys on the block would come over and holler for her to come out and play football by the time she was nine. No Barbie Dolls for this one --- just double up on the boy toys at Christmas. In high school, she would run track, high jump, play 2nd base and then turn around and become ultra female in her majorette's uniform on Friday nights.
I would jump at the chance of going back to the pre-school days when the child in your arms smelled of Johnson's Baby Powder or Baby Magic Lotion and the look on their faces meant that you were the most important being in their lives. I couldn't get enough of them and am sorry now that we didn't stick tothe original plan for six. Motherhood was the closest bond in the early school years, but as they approached high school, fatherhood took over slowly. I remember reading that children of tender years are best left with the mom, but children of business years are the perview of the father. His ability to cut to the chase in any given circumstance is a gift that few women have. They also, are afraid to cross dad, because they are just not certain how far they can go with dad. I was so lucky that my children respected my wimpiness. We never had any problems raising them. God is good! The oldest tried two cigarettes and came home and stood in her oppen window for an hour, because she felt so sick. She told us the next day. The youngest went to adinner party as a senior and the idiot parents served Tom Collins with dinner. She had two and came home and went to bed very early. We had company for dinner and the oldest one checked on her and came back and said, "It's okay---she's just drunk!" We didn't get mad at her, but at the parents who had the poor judgement to serve liquor to underage kids. None of them went to the alter with a bun in the oven, none of them has used drugs, been arested or bankrupt. The oldest did get divorced after three boys and ten years, because he had a girlfriend. She has remained single for eighteen years to raise those boys and besides being a mommy to three pre-schoolers --- she taught 3rd grade full time and got her Master+ in the two years after the divorce. She just got home from a missions trip to Moscow for our church. Her oldest boy works in Washington for a govenor, and the second boy is at the Defense Language School in Monterey, CA for eighten months of Arabic and her last one is a sophomore in college studying the basics, before he chooses a major.
Our son paid for college himself and is the only support for a familyof six. His wife stays home and homeschools four kids. The youngest is also a nurse and works for a gastroenterology clinic.and she does videography. This interet has led her to Russia, Macedonia and Sebia for film work for our church missionaries. Her only remaining child goes to Nyack College in New York and is studying film and directing.
I don't know why our lives have been so blessed, but like I said in the beginning --- Are they cute, or what?
Hold your babies closely, love them hugely and thank God for the gift of life that some people will never experience.

Simple Times

There was a time when life was easier and safer. Children were able play outside without fearing that someone would attack or steal them. I was accustomed to leaving the house with dawn streaking across the morning sky, dew sparkling like fairy dust in the grass and going a half mile away with an old tin can to catch polliwogs in the creek. Then, possibly rollerskating or hanging from the highest limbs of a big maple tree by my knees . Life was good and fun was free. If I did something wrong, like piddling in the urns at the old orchard site, someone in the neighborhood would drag me home for the appropriate punishment. They might even smack my behind and my parents would thank them for their concern.
Parents never thought about buying all the latest toys on the market, though there weren't that many anyway. Little boys had bicycles, baseballs, bats and maybe fishing poles. They could always make their own poles out of a stick, a string and a hook swiped from Dad's tackle box. Picking up night crawlers with a flashlight was a guy type of fun in itself. An old tennis ball was good for lots of things. Little girls has some sort of doll, a baby blanket, roller skates and paper dolls. They could always make the paper dolls out of a Sears Catalog model and then design clothes on drawing paper. Crayolas were a staple as long as they had a point, enabling you to color inside the lines of the coloring Book. ( you could sharpen a crayon on the sidewalk by scraping the edges) We coveted the box of sixty-four, but settled happily for the box of twenty-four. Oh, how we loved the silver and gold ones!
We had three meals a day, but if you missed lunch because the polliwogs were jumping into your tin can, then you would certainly eat a better dinner. Sugary treats came at the end of dinner and were called dessert. People worked and played hard and were not overweight. I cannot remember ever having soda pop in our home as a child. Even birthday parties served milk with the birthday cake. If your birthday was right after Christmas, there was no party. You just became a year older.
When I was starting third grade, we moved to southeastern Ohio where my sister and I had to have vaccinations to start school. The smallpox vaccination almost killed us... we were so sick, but the doctor wasn't called. Oh, they'll get over it ... and we did. We didn't go for regular check-ups, but when we had strep throat and bronchitis, the doctor came to the house and painted our throats with iodine. (penicillin was not around, yet) Rheumatic Fever was treated by staying in bed until we could walk again. During the third grade, we lived in two cities and went to three different schools. WWII was just ending and there was a housing shortage. Nobody would rent to a family with five children ranging from nine to eighteen. Dad taught English, Economics and Sociology in high school during the day and was an attorney (JD) at night. When our rental home sold, we split up for six months. Dad took the two boys and went to his sister's home, so he could teach and they could finish high school. The oldest sister became an au pair for the next door neighbor, so she could finish her senior year of high. Mom took the youngest two girls and went to her Dad's in southeastern Ohio. Grampa was a draftsman for the Sunday Creek Coal Company and lived downtown in a little town, above the local Elk's club. This is where I became aware that there are black children in the world, but children are truly color-blind. I was blond haired, blue eyed and pasty white. They were black haired, brown eyed and brown skinned, but we all could do leg spins around the teeter-totter bars and giggle like all little girls do. My sister and I had to race the delivery truck to the paper stand every Wednesday, because there was rationing and we each could buy a Mounds Candy Bar for our Dad back home in the big city. It was Mom's gift to him, because you couldn't get them in a bigger towns. The drunks from the Elk's Club used to stagger upstairs and fall down in the back hall, where they would drink the dregs of Grampa's beer bottles. Were we scared? Yes! But, were we abused? No! People were of a higher moral quality and grown-ups took care of kids. From the milkman, who chipped pieces of ice out of the sawdust to the policeman on the crosswalk, adults were there to make kids safe and special.
By the end of the third grade, Dad was building a house to get us together again. He hammered and nailed late into the night after teaching school all day, but we went along to keep him company. It was a wonderful place outside the city, where I could wander in the woods all day and play in the creek. The gypsies camped on the other bank of the creek, but nobody ever worried that they would take me --- or were they wishing that I would disappear?
In middle school, all girls needed was a jump rope and a set of ball and jacks to keep them happy at recess. The boys were still tossing baseballs and wrestling on the playground. Nobody worried about the swings being dangerous or someone getting a concussion by falling off the teeter-totter. We have become pro-active and worry about everything under the sun, instead of reactive after the "God-forbid" has happened. Without television, we went to bed when it got too dark to play outside or you played games with your siblings or read books. It was a lovely time, when people were not on Prozac, chasing their tails or eating themselves into obesity. The pendulum swings both ways and I wonder when it will swing back to simpler times. The times were safe and uncomplicated and wonderful. "Everything we've wanted, was everything we had. Honey, take me home, let's go back to yesterday." Niel Sedaka

Twenty two years ago today, a beautiful baby girl was born to our youngest daughter and her husband. This was a first baby after one miscarriage, but unfortunately she was born with very little brain tissue. She existed on this earth for nine and one half years and then took flight to be with The Lord. During that time, our daughter had four more miscarriages, one little boy and another child just like our Courtney. That child died at birth. I think of our granddaughter many times ... on holidays, birthdays, the anniversary of her death and when dusting her pictures, etc. The many women who have lost children know the horrible feeling that goes with the loss... the whys, did I do anything wrong, what happens to cause these kinds of problems? In this case, we have thought probably the diethylstilbesterol I had taken twenty-three years before, when I was pregnant caused our daughter's many pregnancy related difficulties. I suppose I am writing today to warn young women, who were born between the early 1950's to the 1980's that their mothers may have take this drug to prevent miscarriage. If your mom is still alive, ask her if she took any medicine while pregnant. You could be a DES Daughter and need to talk to your physician about it. To my wonderful daughter and son-in-law.... our hearts are with you today as always.

Australian Adventure

Australia! The dream vacation of a lifetime was ours for our 45th anniversary. I can hear the groaning now....Why waste a trip like that on two old coots? Well, these old coots rode horseback through the rain forest and snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef with the sting rays on the very day of our 45th. The horse back instructors had asked who were considered expert riders and which losers were novices. Since I fall into the novice class (but hopefully not off the horse) I raised my hand and was sent to the group on the left. Now, I happen to know that left means sinister in Latin, so I was looking for some sort of plot. Alas! It came from my expert rider husband. Off he galloped with my asthma rescue inhaler in his pocket (because I am not to be trusted with important things) and I dutifully followed the group into the humidity laden rain forest sans inhaler. Nobody had mentioned that this trail ride would include riding through a river with moss covered stones lining the bottom. We had to lift our feet with our hands behind our shanks to keep our shoes dry....which is no easy feat when you have accumulated an extra 30 pounds over the years! Having come through with flying colors (okay, dragging colors), I was pleased to make the husband proud of my tenacity. Next, we headed for a luncheon ship that opened in the forward deck to allow people to descend stairs right to the floor of the ocean .... the sting rays were delighted to see us. I really think it must have been the buckets of fish pieces that the crew dumped overboard to assure compliance of these giant creatures. The countryside is beautiful and the ocean is a color not known to me before this adventure. Azure blue with aqua patches.... Sumptuous.
The evening dinner at a kangaroo and koala farm was not to be missed. We were given handfuls of grain for the roos. I held out my hand and a kangaroo "reached out and touched someone"....me! She firmly grabbed my forearm with claws that appeared to be about six inches long, but I am known to exaggerate.... just a wee bit. About this time, a Joey popped his head out of her pouch and started munching on the grass below. Did you know that a roo can have two different babies in her pouch at one time with two different gestational ages? One can be similar to "Failure to Launch" and one can be very young and tiny. My first thought was that perhaps her different formulas were not just for early and late pregnancy, but instead vanilla and chocolate. The guide quickly relieved me of my happy thought. Well, I had thought it made lovely sense.
While in Cairn, we stayed at a five star hotel (way too good for our hearty peasant stock) which we enjoyed immensely, and they held a genuine Aboriginal dinner with entertainment....I didn't understand it, but it was different (as long as they don't eat white people). We were all given didgeridoos and I can blow it, since I played a euphonium in my high school band. (I don't want to hear any mutterings about how many years ago that was ... you never lose your pucker! ) The company who had paid for our trip, also paid for really great souvenirs and shipped them directly to us. Who am I to complain? The didgeridoo resides in our den and is quite a conversation piece. Our four days in Sydney were also at a five star hotel and I reveled in the great service.... that is never going to come my way again. We toured the opal factory and the opera house, but did not climb the bridge over the harbor. (This is the point, at which, old age puts in a good word for avoiding any such complaints as a heart attack or stroke.) We did go on a catamaran for an evening dinner cruise, but I had not used any
ScopeDerm Patches and could not eat due to motion sickness --- but I was a great sport and didn't barf on anyone.
We were given three seats on Quantas Airlines for the fourteen hour trip home, so we could take turns curling up for naps and that was a Godsend! The highlight of the trip was when boarding the plane for LA, one of the side evacuation doors refused to lock shut. The ground crew came aboard, took the innards out of the door, screwed it shut and taped it with duct tape for the whole fourteen hour ride home. For those of you who have ever had misgivings.... duct tape is truly the handyman's secret weapon!
My picture shows me on one of our harbor cruises in a genuine Australian woolen sweater (they confiscate your MasterCard until you fork over the money for a sweater).
So, if you get the opportunity ... go to Australia, because as my darling husband said of our 50th anniversary... "I cannot top that" and he didn't even try.

Why blame the feds for a local problem?

I wish I could find a way to make this blog red, white and blue. Something is really nagging at my innards and has been eating at me ever since last summer: specifically, ever since Katrina roared ashore in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. who or what has incurred my mental wrath?
The powerful press and media of The United States have managed to make an act of God into a blame game and are making up our minds for us with their inaccurate reporting. True, the whole hurricane was a disaster from the time it made it's way across the tip of Florida and into the Gulf of Mexico. Naturally, Florida was ready and equipped to contend with whatever catagory the storm became, but was fortunately spared the worst of the storm. As Katrina blew her way aross the Gulf, I worried and most of America worried about New Orleans, perched precariously below sea level at the mouth of the Mississippi. The winds blew, the sea raged and the waters inundated the city. Was anyone surprised? If we all have known for years that this city would flood in the event of Catagory 3 or larger hurricane, why are we all acting as though we were caught unaware? Blame must be assigned whenever something happens that we cannot get our minds around. The media have spent seven months trying to pin the tail on the top of the pyramid and work downward. The pictures during the storm, immediately after and continuing to this day are totally unbelieveable --- but there is no direction for the massive clean-up necessary. The displaced residents may never be back in New Orleans and I for one believe that despite the fact that it is an historical city, it should never be rebuilt! The figure put on the recovery is $200,000. for every person affected and what do we have to show for that money?
Why are we spending so much time trying to figure out what to do? Why are the networks trying to make a natural disaster into a political football? If we all knew that it could happen, why didn't the citizens of New Orleans have a personal plan for evacuation? Do modern day people think that someone other than themselves will be responsible for saving their skins? Katrina was wandering about in the Gulf, getting stronger and stronger and the Weather Service began to warn that this storm was going to get really nasty. What word did individuals not understand? Why didn't people with cars, trucks, busses , motorcycles or bicycles get themselves out of town to the safety of higher ground? Why didn't the mayor use those empty school busses to transport his citizens to safety, instead of letting the busses sit and be flooded in the heart of town? Why didn't the govenor ask the federal government to be prepared for disaster assistance the minute Katrina's backside was out of sight? For many months, all we have heard is that President Bush and FEMA failed to take care of this catastrophy. I understand that the federal government cannot go into a state until the govenor of that state has asked for help. But, here we are ---embroiled in the "blame game" and the mold, stentch and filth remain and are growing bigger every day. Couldn't the govenor call together a group of people to plan for the clean-up of the state, the relocation of the parts of New Orleans most likely to flood again in a hurricane and check the official accounting of the emergency funds allocated for this work? Can't we stop kicking this football around and get down to business before the next hurricane season? Is Marti Gras more important than getting this show on the road? Americans would pour into the area to help clean things up, if only the local, state and federal officials would pick up the reins and decide on a plan of attack. New Orleans and the Gulf coast need to get started on a clean-up before the next natural or terrorist disaster is upon us. People of New Orleans --- don't go back! Stay where you are and stay safe.

The Epiphany of Retired Souls

Having sold one place last year in sunny, southern Florida, we thought that we were finally over our love affair with this state. Alas! It was not to be. When will we ever learn? Offering perfectly good money for a nasty 1971 double-wide was something that younger people should do. Yes, the sun shines on "trailers" the same as it does on proper homes, but the hurricanes seem to have a peculiar affinity for the flimsy. It really strikes the funny bone to think that trailers have hurricane shutters. Wouldn't you think that in the event of a Category 3 or thereabouts, the whole place will flit around the neighborhood, so what purpose do the shutters serve? I'm being too hard on this place, because if it is indeed a 1971 SunHome-- it has stood for 35 years without becoming a missile for the unfortunate. The latest info (since Charley and Wilma) is that they will not insure "trailers" against the full value. They will give only a small portion of the value, but they charge premiums consistent with mansions. We have replaced the sub flooring, floors, carpet, toilets, sinks, counters, bathroom walls. Italian kitchen tile, draperies, rods, all appliances and have all new furniture. Most rooms have been painted or lined with bead-board and wallpaper borders. Ugly cupboards have turned into buffets and bookcases. The 1971 has become a 2006 (curtsey of HGTV) and it looks like a brand new place, but all this cuts no ice with the insurance company. OLD is OLD! Makes me feel like I should turn in my driver's license, because I am old!
What I started out to say is that our friends who have been so instrumental in getting us to spend our retirement money on a home in Florida for the cold season, have forsaken us. They have been so successful at talking their families into moving and building here in the Ft. Myers area, that they have no time left for us!!! Ergo---what the heck are we doing here? We are spending money that we will need later in life (if we live as long as I'd like) and spreading ourselves a little thin. The two of us are sitting home nights and watching things like Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Skating with the Stars, Dancing with the Stars and, of course, The Olympics. January and the first part of February has been chilly --- don't you think we could watch T.V. in Ohio and avoid the negative spending to see blue skies and not be 1,200 miles from our children and grandchildren?
We watched "Oprah" on TV today and she said that the average American lives paycheck to paycheck and is living on credit. Since we are in our 70's (ugh--- I can't believe the whole thing) and have no debt at all, we have a tremendous credit rating --- but everything is tied up in condos, doublewides and stocks. We are rapidly becoming slaves to our perfect purchases and are faced with two options.
1.) Keep the Florida place for a couple of years and enjoy all the sunshine and loose joints --- but, watch our bank accounts dwindle down to perilous levels, or
2.) Sell this masterpiece of decoration and spend the winters in Ohio with snow up to our arses. I mean really --- we could watch the T.V. with the drapes pulled and who would be any the wiser? Our finances would be logical and we might even be able to do that trip to England and Ireland that I have always wanted. Someone smack me if I ever even hint at the possibility of doing another overhaul. Young people can do the necessary work without Ben Gay rubbed head to toe. When will we ever learn that chronological age means something. No matter what we look like---the spirit is weak and the flesh is downright flabby. I think we need to go home to Ohio, where our family is and move only if they decide to go to another state.
One of the worst problems is that I love all the new "stuff" I have purchased for this place and I want to keep it all. It has taken another half year from my already pitifully short life to furnish it and we are talking "another sale!"
My mind has short-circuited! WE have been here for 7 weeks and I have not been to the pool, have no suntan and my asthma medications are running low. Do you get the picture of a dog chasing it's own tail?

Deep Thoughts

We are the proud grandparents of a young man, who is just a fuzz below genius in intelligence. When he was a little guy, his smile was endearing and always lit up a freckled face like sunshine peeking through clouds. I remember his fourth birthday, with his little hands hanging onto each newly opened present to the point that he was unable to open any more. His desperation to keep an older, more savvy brother from latching onto any of the new "stuff" was hard to watch. His abilities in math and with video games was amazing, his personality seemed to be even keeled and affable, but lurking under the surface was a mind in turmoil. Junior High was a very uncomfortable period --- he didn't do homework (why bother, I know all that) or if he did the assigned work, he forgot to take it to school. There were fights on the playground by the fifth grade, but he would never tell us what was bothering him. In high school, he spent most of his extra time in his room with his computer playing video games, and his grades were not outstanding. There was never a girlfriend in his life or any great interest in the outside world. After three years in college, majoring in computer engineering, he couldn't come up with the money for any more classes and he decided to join the Air Force. The recruiter told him to lose 49 pounds and sent him to a larger base to test him for decoding abilities. The 49 pounds came off in four months and he got the highest score they ever had at the center where the testing was done. As an honor graduate from basic training, he was tested and is in the .06% of the entire Air Force.

Finally, we arrive at the deep thoughts part of this whole thing. After flight training, he was sent to The Defense Language Institure in Monterey, CA for eighteen months of training in Arabic. While chatting with the head of the Arabic language section, we discovered that linguists are usually extremely intelligent and are loners. This explains the diffident behavior all of those years --- so, I asked him if he were aware that he had been stand-offish as a teen and a loner. Here comes the part that hurts for the parents and grandparents of these kids ---Yes, they know that they are extremely intelligent and are not like the other kids in their grade. They are not well liked, other kids resent their smart genes and they don't particularly care to associate with kids their own age, but of normal intelligence. So, truly bright children hide in their rooms, read books that are years beyond their age level and study things that appeal to them.

This disparity continues into adulthood and it becomes harder and harder to make friends, since the majority of people are not overly bright and even conversation becomes tedious. Would it explain people like Vincent Van Gogh --- "And when no love was left in sight, on that starry, starry night, he took his life like lovers often do ---but I could have told you, Vincent ---the world was never meant for one as beautiful as you". In America, we have classes for developementally delayed, regular, everyday kids, but who is looking out for the truly exceptional kids? They are usually pretty unhappy until they find the key to their personalities.

Today's the big day....but, no fireworks or celebrating in these quarters. When your birthday is two weeks after Christmas, nobody notices or goes into raptures of good wishes or offerings of extravagant presents. Frank Sinatra's "When I Was Seventeen" comes to mind, and it was a very good year! I ran off and got married that year and it was wonderful...still is. Some years are better than others, so I'm hoping that this year will be everything that I ever dreamed it could be. We have been caught up in buying, decorating, selling and buying again in the sunshine of Florida. True, you can make money, but will the old bodies hold up long enough to enjoy the latest purchase? We spent December running up and down Interstate 75 in an attempt to furnish the newest of our follies. What's 1,200 miles more or less? Three trips in three weeks with Christmas in the middle of it all... makes me tired just thinking of it. We came back in time for New Year's Eve and spent the last week in the company of an alcoholic house painter. My idea of morning is watching the sun come up at 10:00 A.M.... this dude arived before 7:00! Egads! The middle of the night! However, his painting skills diminished by 10:30 to noon and he was off to spend the rest of the day lying in the sun with a beer in his hand. The kitchen is painted (mostly---I'll do touch-ups) and Old Bud is a thing of the past. The expensive things are all purchased and we only have a couple of things to do, like laying the new kitchen floor, putting in a sink and counter top. There are sewing projects that will take a couple of weeks and twenty-eight panels of drapes to press, but I'll handle it as long as I can sleep in the mornings without a crazed painter banging on the door. I'm left wondering how Murphy Brown stood Eldon for all those years???? Florida would be wonderful, if the only things you had to contend with were blue skies, sunshine and white sand by the mile, but no --- there are old people all over the place, riding in their golf carts (but they play no golf), tooling around on three wheeled bikes and pushing baby strollers with poodles in the seat. And friendly? Planting a bush or shrub is an occasion for all and sundry in the neighborhood to stop by and tell you the story of their lives and how to plant said bush. We once had neighbors who buried a dead fish under all shrubs and plantings....maybe, I'll try that and keep the weirdos away by sheer odor. Perhaps, they'll think we are the stink in the area.
My DIL called last night and said that my son was rocking and sobbing in the throes of kidney stone pain and what should she do. OMG --- Take him to the hospital! Now, this led me to think that perhaps having children was not such a hot idea. How could I have know forty some years ago that the pain would go on forever. Your babies are your babies always and then grandkids get into the mix. I just plain don't believe that my heart will be able to take great-grands or the troubles that are just down the road for all these boys in the next few years. I refuse to worry about the only grand-daughter... the seven grandsons will keep her straight! (And keep the mongrels away from the door) So, I started out saying that it is a big day for me...Happy 70th Birthday to me --- I freakin can't believe it! Somebody must have changed my birth certificate!

December Blues

Bless the hearts of those souls who thought up the blog. Though December is notoriously hectic for women (okay guys, you have a little stress, too), I find myself slipping into Blogspot to read a few pithy comments. Some of the writers are genuinely funny and pick my spirits up in a period of overactivity of body and underachievement of mind. The snow outside is lovely to look upon, but really nasty to step into with high-heeled sandals. Which moron decided we should wear little strappy shoes when attending Christmas parties? I would go out and buy really wonderful dressy boots, except that my husband would kill me --- because, we are leaving for Ft. Myers in one week and boots, silky dresses and hot sunshine are tacky. Time is in such short supply, but here I sit .... accomplishing nothing, but the peculiar sense of ennui is draped over me like a funeral shroud. The Christmas letters are covering the dinette table in various stages of undone. The packing is in disarray .... half our clothes are in suitcases and I have forgotten which one has what in it. My newly purchased household furnishings are piled high in the garage, but the adoreable husband is grouching about the price of a U-Haul to drag them to Florida. And whose idea was it to buy again in FLorida? His! A little known fact (or rather... little thought fact) is that U-Hauls are really cheap if you are hauling one from southern Florida to northern Ohio, but don't contemplate visa versa...from Ohio to Florida is six times the price. Who would have thought that most of the U-Hauls wind up in Florida from the frozen north. I bet you could get a job just driving empty trailers back north from the sunny south! My cute youngest daughter had a major surgery on Wednesday and they are throwing her out in the snow today (insurance sucks) and I'll need to go stock up her fridge for their breakfasts and lunches. Dinners are already frozen in my freezer in anticipation of the grand opening. The question rumbling about in my head is ....why doesn't the husband think that the fridge is down a couple of pints and hit the local grocery? I think it is a man thing or maybe,.... is not a man thing. They have one wonderful son, but he is in New York for his first year of college. There again though.... if he were home, I'd be buying for three instead of two. The man versas woman thing just shows us that God truly made us different. Bless all men for their great right hemisphere brains and thank you, God for making women with pathways between the hemispheres, so something will get done!

Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays

The last posting indicated that we would be making a run for the border aproximately on Halloween or the 1st of November. Here we are in the frozen north and we are rapidly approaching December. Really, you would think that a pair of golden oldies would attempt to get their act together and head for sunshine, blue skies and white sand by the mile. We would have been there and I would have a paintbrush in my hand instead of a keyboard by now, except my other half has "stupid" written on his forehead. He picked up a muckbucket ( for the uninformed... that is a huge bucket that you use to pick road apples and wet bedding out of horses' stalls) full of water and popped two spinal disks back in October.Our family doctor thought it was muscle spasms and fluffed it off. After a week of barely moving and tremendous pain, I hauled his sorry arse to the hospital. The MRI showed the ruptured disks and now he is at the mercy of an advanced pain therapist, whom we lovingly call the voodoo doctor. He sticks needles into my darlin's spine in an attempt to shrink the swelling. These voodoo treatments are scheduled every two weeks for three visits, then you get to see a neurosurgeon. Things are getting better... he is driving and can move around without much discomfort, but the whole experience is starting to sound like life in an extended care facility. Lord, get me out of Ohio! (Personally, I think he likes the Dilaudid) Our timetable is so far out of whack that it may never again be back to normal. The Ft. Myers place didn't get a jot of damage from Wilma, which was fortunate, since the insurance was cancelled on Oct. 4th. The policy is back in effect, but something has gone from my spirit. We are told from the very beginning that the latter years will be wonderful. I wish I could remember who told me that... I would fire off a newsflash to them that would scorch their ears.
Speaking of that... I am on a new campaign. FOX's Bill O'Rielly has piqued my interest about the lack of "Merry Christmas" as opposed to "Happy Holidays" in our nations' stores. I am doing my bit to help the whole project on behalf of Christians everywhere. Today, I sent an e-mail to a local store that had wonderful things inside their catalog, but no mention of Christmas. (Unless you count Feliz Navidad by a singing Chiahuahua) I simply wished them a "Happy Holiday", but said I would not be shopping in their store, since I prefer a "Merry Christmas" in my home. I'm having a hard time understanding why 85% of Americans, who profess to be Christians should have to knuckle under for 15% of others in this joyous season. We are being sued right out of out traditions and culture. There will come a time when merchants will have no business in winter, because there is no Christmas to celebrate. My biggest plans involve writing a nice folksy letter to Kohl's, Sear's, Target, K Mart and others who do not recognize Christmas. This letter will wish them "Happy Holidays" and request the closure of my accounts with their plastic plates cut into a zillion little pieces. I will also mention that I will not be seeing any of them this season. So sorry, you know...but, there comes a time when we have to speak and be heard or silently watch the big boots march over our graves. In the Bible, there is a passage where God is asked if He would save an unrightous city if one good man could be found therein. You know the outcome.

Wouldn't You Know?

Wouldn't you know that Hurricane Wilma is headed right for our new place in Florida? We haven't even finished the remodeling, but if Ft.Myers gets a direct hit, there goes all our hard work and all that new carpeting and furniture. Drat! I am left wondering whether or not Bed, Bath and Beyond and Linens n Things will take back the ton of stuff I have purchased since returning to Ohio in September. I'll have to cross my fingers and hope that some other poor soul gets the hurricane instead of us. Some nice person I am! That F150 will be ambling down I-75 either the 31st of October or next Monday if there is damage. Oh, I could just swear!

Crazy World

By this time in your life, you should be taking things easy and enjoying the fruits of your labors. Instead, we act like lame brains and keep biting off bigger bites than we want to chew. The Florida place still stands exactly where we left it last month, but since then we have flown to Monterey to see #2 grandson for a week at the Defense Language Institute. California is beautiful and weird at the same time. We loved the sights along the Left Coast Highway and especially Pebble Beach Country Club. The Pacific is prettier than the Atlantic, but the people are a little bit unhinged. We came across a large group of people protesting the Iraq war, but they are the same ones who are in favor of abortion. Kill the babies --- Save the Muslims! Today, is totally off my radar screen. Living in Toledo, Ohio, you never expect to see anything controversial happening, but we are witness to how the Socialist Nazi Party works. They announced that they would march here to protest "Black Gangs" treatment of people in a largely white, Polish neighborhood in North Toledo. Well, the Nazis showed up after much pre-publicity on local radio shows, but they never marched. I believe that they depend on stirring up the people and then can prove their point without ever leaving the safety of their cars. Instead, gangs of young, black men rioted against the police who had been assigned to protect the neighborhood and prevent the invading Nazis from any harm. These young men broke into homes and businesses and looted and burned. Tonight, we are under curfew and the Ohio Highway Patrol has called up 50 extra troopers to patrol the district. I am so frightened! Even though I live across the river from Toledo, my daughter's husband is the Officer calling up the extra officers and he will be commanding them tonight. Why must our police be placed in this position for nothing, when so much is happening in the world? Yes, we have the war, Hurricane Katrina, wildfires in California, earthquakes in Pakistan, floods in the northeast and so many other truly important things. What is wrong? What can we do to stop useless people from living useless lives at the expense of society?

Cookie's Oven

Where did the summer go? From the beginning of July to the middle of September --- I think I must have been sleep walking! We drive to Florida in July to take a new car to friends there. What the heck --- the gas was free and we got to stay at Lee and John's beautiful new house, so the only expense was a couple of motel rooms on the way down and back. While there, a friend of Clyde's picked that particular week to up and die! I felt like a ghoul going through his doublewide the day after his passing, so we didn't even take a really good look at the place or ask any questions. But, the experience of fixing up the last one and making a tidy profit was enough to make Jack's money grubbing heart beat swiftly and he offered them enough to tempt them, but not offend his surviving children. Imagine our surprise when the cell phone rang as we were driving out of the state and the family accepted our offer. Oh, Holy Cow! We finished the trip and brought the used trade-in back to Ohio. It was the worst trip we ever made to or from Florida and we've made quite a few trips. The used car had bald tires on the front and we had to stop in Kentucky and replace them and the dead battery. Every state had a deluge in store for us, but we made it home! We turned around and flew back to Ft. Myers on Aug. 18th with a few clothes, sheets and towels to begin the renovation of the "new" trailer. It is a 1971 SunHome with a new roofover, fairly new A/C and new porches (since Hurricane Charley ripped the old ones off last year). Inside, --- an absolute nightmare. Filthy, smelly (luckily, I can't smell anything) and needing to be almost gutted. We took a quick inventory of what should be done to make it profit worthy and something I can live in for a few winters. Jack started by ripping out the carpet and padding. Underneath, we found holes covered with pieces of 1/4th inch plywood or even duct tape. We tore out sinks, toilets, some cupboards, snack bars (with coke-bottle glass in the doors) and closed off a doorway into one bathroom from the guestroom. A good friend was out of work for a couple of weeks and he worked for us for 10 days, but we kept up with him and added 4 or 5 hours after he quit every night. Both of us were hitting the Darvocet N-100 bottle at regular intervals. The kitchen couldn't be trusted, so we bought plastic bins and put the paper plates and cereal bowls in them. Even the ice went in a new bin, until the new fridge, stove, hood, washer and dryer were delivered. We threw out piles of tasteless junk and the neighbors picked through it and toted it home as though it were a highly prized, rare find. We left after 21 days with new carpet, some new furniture, fixtures, appliances, new carpet in the porch (12'x19'). We have lots of ideas, --- like painting the dining room table legs and the buffet to match and look like a bookcase (minus the doors with the dratted coke-bottle glass). We saved money by painting chandeliers and anything that stood still with a can of flat-black Rustoleum. I found some adoreable little lampshades for the dining roomlight and saved us $135.00. Still, we are in hock to Lowes for about $6000. and have so much to do. WE have discovered that keeping busy, even too busy, makes us feel much younger. Perhaps the overwork will kill us, but people will say, "My, were't they ambitious?" By September 9th, we were back in Toledo and rushing around buying things for the place (towels, dishes, silverware, toasterovens, etc) and keeping dental and doctor appointments. I have to get those blasted carotid dopplers done on the 30th and see the surgeon on Oct. 4th. Everything about the Florida place will depend upon when the vascular genius wants to repair the mess he made last fall. This coming Tuesday, Sept. 20th we are flying to Monterey, CA to see Greg. He is lonesome and apparently will be happy to see anyone from the family --- even the grandparents. We stay from the 20th through the 27th and are praying that it will give Greg a taste of family to keep him going until Christmas when he can come home for the first time since last winter. Hopefully, I'll have time to make those chocolate ship cookies that Lesley says he likes. With Alex in Nyack, NY for college and Steven in Washington, I'll need to get that oven fired up anddd supplying those boys with homemade goodies. Lord! Give me strength! Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that I need 45 yards of fabric for the Florida curtains and about 40 yards of lining. I really need help! I guess I can't die for quite a while---- there is too much to do!

4th of July Weekend

We were at my daughter's house for the family birthday party and heard our first cicada for the summer. Oh, my goodness, where does the time go? Someone said, "Life is like a roll of toilet paper --- the closer you get to the end --- the faster it goes"! How true! I always heard that the first cicada of summer means only six weeks till the first frost. Does that mean we will have frost in late August? Oh, well, everything else is inside out and backwards --- why not the seasons? I have loved being in Ohio and watching everything turn green and the flowers come up and bloom, but the allergies are in full bloom, also. There is so much to accomplish in this life and the tendency is to put off until next year whatever is not convenient at the moment. Somehow, things have always gotten done, but usually at the last minute with a great hustle and bustle. But, the hustle has slowed down and the bustle is about busted. It is becoming harder and harder to do the last minute rush and get everything done. Soon, I will be unable to do all the things that were once a snap. I know this because my brother and his wife had their 50th wedding anniversary over the weekend and they looked terribly vulnerable. I would be extremely surprised if they make it to 51 years. He is five years older than I and I can see myself in his shoes in a few years, except that I will be celebrating fifty-seven years of wedlock when I am seventy-four. Nobody ever understands why old people walk so slowly and with such apparent effort --- well, guess what? That is all we are capable of doing and it is a huge effort. Each day brings changes and it is harder each day to pretend that you are really only thirty-five or even fifty-five. The missionary home at church needed to be packed up and stored again last week. I worked with one of the pastor's wives for eleven hours and then drove home feeling like I might just die any minute. Sort of doubt that I'll ever want to do that bit again -- four times are enough to quench the spirit and Lord knows --- the flesh is weak! Since I had been the one to purchase all the furniture and furnishings for the missionary home and had stored it once before, I am the logical one to sort things out when another missionary comes to occupy our home. Here's hoping that someone is ready to have the torch passed. I wonder what will happen to the Steinway Grand residing in my front bedroom if the missionary has not found a new home for it by the time I cash in my chips. For sure, I can't take that with me! My adoreable husband bought a half a horse to keep himself interested in life and then found out that he could rejoin the country club and use up his stock in the club as dues. That should give him about two years of golf with only driving range, putting green, locker room, caddy shack and dining fees to pay. Oh, no! There goes the budget again! :-)

Things are rushing along. My darling husband is busily training colts for a friend. The best part of the whole deal is that it keeps him out of my hair, gives him something he loves doing and he gets a few bucks for doing it. What more could I ask for? We have a kitchen without counter tops. The men are coming tomorrow to put in the new ones, then we will order the carpet for the rest of the condo. The about face is amazing. Jack has been agreeing to almost everything. Maybe, he has come to the realization that northwestern Ohio is home and always will be. He is having fun planning to remodel my bathroom and when it is all done, we will probably be ready to head back to Florida for another winter season, but renting this time. What a relief! My bright idea about making the upstairs into an exercise room is okay, but I have to find the time to do the goofy wallpaper border soon. The fans are installed and the exercise equipment makes it look like it was intended to be an exercise room. Make that a big plus for us --- a bonus room with a pull down stairs --- people who are in good enough shape to exercise should be able to climb those steps!
On this week's agenda is Alex and his videos. He came was in the top ten nationally for the Access Hollywood " The Ultimate Star Wars Fan". Then they had online voting and he made it to the top five in the country. Today, we found out that some 40 something with thousands of pieces of Star Wars junk won. But, my goodness, top five nationally is pretty darn good for an eighteen year old is great!
We are heading out on Monday to San Antonio for #2 grandson's graduation from Air Force Basic Training. Really, it is an excuse to go on a week's trip and run away from all duties. You just get so tired of keeping up with the younger generation. They don't know how much these bones and muscles hurt and how good it feels to get off your feet and onto your bottom. We look forward to seeing some scenery that is not I-75 between northern Ohio and southern Florida. Another fun thing is the shopping you get to do each time you go away. More new clothes! Yahoo! Next time I write anything here --- I hope my closet will be much lighter. I am seriously thinking of applying the two year rule. Haven't worn it---out it goes. Doesn't fit --- out it goes. Then, if all else fails --- the nuclear option --- go on a diet! Egads! That's about it for tonight --- see you next time I feel the muse upon me.

Cookie's Oven

Cookie's Oven

Here we are, just the two of us --- back from five months in Florida. Not a lot of suntan, just a bunch of "stuff" that we have packed and moved from pillar to post for the last few months, while our place sold and we moved from Ft. Myers to Cape Coral and tried to decide how to get our things back to Ohio. The weather was not spectacular in the sunny south --- sort of cool and rainy for Florida. Not your typical shorts and sweat --- more like slacks and sweaters, however, the blue skies and white fleecy clouds were present most of the time. Like our friends say, "You don't have to shovel sunshine off your sidewalks." Since, we are trying to follow God's will in our lives, we did sell and walked out $30,000.00 to the good after having five 5 years of Florida living with the taxes being the only expenses. I would say that is not too bad. We have waited upon the Lord for His leading. I have to say that the ridiculous prices for land must be His way of saying, "No, this is not for you guys". I hope that He is not preparing us for a serious illiness or something equally frightening. It has given us an excuse to fix up things that we were hesitant to tackle, but what the heck --- we have money to spend! So far, we have purchased a Ford 500, a Sony 42" HDTV, a 13" TV for the utility room, new porch furniture and intend to finish up the exercise room upstairs and put new counters and handles on the kitchen cabinets. I have to strike while Jack isn't looking and then this condo will be 2005 ready, in case we decide to sell it at any given moment. We have noticed a peacefulness surrounding us and we both feel that this is the right thing at this time. Our friend, Fred, is building a condo in Sarasota and he will not be using it in the winter season because that is breeding season for the horses, so we will probably be able to rent it for next year. Meanwhile, we have to finish up the details here and take a few side trips --- like go see our grandson graduate from the Air Force basic training and teck school in Texas later this summer. At 69 and 73, we have to take our fun wile we can. Believe it our not, I have an appointment on Tuesday for a nursing job this summer. I wonder if they will be interested in somebody this old. I may not look it, but many days --- I feel it. Lord, give me strength and the "peace that passeth all understanding".

Twenty Somethings

WE watched FOX's "Dayside" today. They were talking about twenty-somethings who have working-world confusion and do not want to leave home or go into a lesser lifestyle. Do the people who decide how these programs are formatted not know that the same identity confusion lies at the other end of the working world? We awaken every day with a lack of purpose and a debilitating sense of ennui. At one time in our lives, we had a sense of importance and validation for taking up space with our bit of protoplasm. Surely, there is more after work is done. Our hearts hurt when we look into the mirror and see an older person and realize that there is no going back --- only forward into an unknown abyss. I don't think most people question their lives on a daily basis. They get up and live --- and then go to bed again. We, on the other hand, scrape each other raw with the desperate searching for something to do with the tiny bit of life that is left to us. We don't want to waste it, but in perusing the "great American dream", we lose sight of where we were heading fifty years ago. A lady of great beauty and grace has just stopped by and we talked of life, love, marriage and spirituality. I am left wishing I had her serenity and adaptability. Eva,--- God loves you and so do I. My thinking on old age will surely evolve as we are led along the way this spring. We will be back in Ohio, where regeneration of life is more visible than it is in Florida.

Probably Goofed, Again!

You have to be careful what you say when you have been married forever. I opened my mouth and said, " Golly, our Florida place will probably sell like a hotcake after those dreadful hurricanes". "His Lordship" took that as permission to sell the doublewide that shelters us in the terrible winters. It didn't even take a for sale sign to accomplish the deal. The office lady sent a nice couple from Massachusetts down the road and they thought all of half an hour before offering us $30,000. more than we had in it. You just can't pass up that kind of profit, so we will be out on our behinds in another month. We are filling our senses with blue skies and sunshine, while thinking of our dear families under eight inches of snow in northwestern Ohio. We will take our personal things to a friend's brand new home for an extra month here, but have not been able to find a lot that wouldn't take more money than our farm cost in 1977. I want to travel and rent something when the winters get tough, but the husband wants to sell our real home in Ohio and live here all the time. True, Florida is beautiful, but it is also crowded with snowbirds, spring-breakers and impatient Floridians who drive like kamikaze pilots. Our kids and grands are in Ohio --- what if one of us should die? The other would be forced to live here among golden oldies who walk their dogs in baby carriges and ride three wheeled bikes. I love my Ohio home! If the snow gets up to the roof, I would shut the drapes, turn on all the lights and read books, quilt or mess with the computer, while pretending that the sun was shining outside. Meanwhile, it is too late to worry about, it is a done deal and the new "almost owners" are measuring walls and busily thinking of ways to garbage up what I have so tastefully decorated! Help! The people here don't understand the principle of less looks better and clutter is crap. I know that I will not even be able to drive by here in another month or I will cry. God --- what do You have in mind for us? You have lead us from the very beginning, when we knew You not. I will trust that You have something much better ahead and we should " Be still and know that you are GOd".

Blogging Again after Many Months

It seems impossible that almost four months have elapsed since I last thought of my blog. There are so many other people's writings to read that I forget to ruminate on the life of one little, old lady. The husband recovered from his surgery physically, but has lost some of his zest for life. After his surgery, the docs got their hands on my neck and reamed out my left carotid artery. Really, it was supposed to be a simple thing, but it has turned into a major event with a rush back to surgery on the day after the original grand opening. Things were okay, but I never do anything the easy way. Scared my poor family, but oddly enough --- I went back to the land of scalpels and sponges with the thought that I was dying and did not fear. Go figure!
The biggest event of this summer has been the intensity of the presidential election. Our oldest daughter was a wreck with all the political bull-s*** on T.V. Myself, I could not stand to hear all the garbage and justifications by political hacks --- even FOX network started getting a little hinky by the end. We were packing to leave for six months in Florida (the 2000 election fiasco) while awaiting the results of 2004. Wouldn't you know --- Ohio was the state to decide this year's winner? Perhaps we should leave Ohio and Florida or learn to live with the shame of ineptitude. We are rejoicing in the Bush win and trying very hard to be good winners --- you know, being humble and not rubbing anyone's nose in it. But! It's so hard to listen to the whining and crapola from the Democrats since they realized on Wednesday that "flyover country" embodies the values of the majority of Americans. Their attempts to pull every minority into their fold will give them just that --- lots of diverse, little minorities with axes to grind. I feel so absolved to know that down home values and spirituality are still alive and well, though bowed and bloody from years of attacks from the left. Heard tell today that people are turning in their citizenship and planning to move to Canada --- Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out! Hey, just putting this down makes me feel better. I'm gonna go get an ice cream cone and celebrate "Old W's" win. Also, "Cheers" to my grandson who will go to the Inaugral Balls, because he works for a Republican govenor. Life is pretty good, after all!

Late, Again

It finally happened and we lived through the whole experience. He (being my husband of fifty years) had that open heart surgery and his aortic valve was replaced with a cow's valve. When he heard that it would be a bovine graft, he wanted "a bull's valve". I suppose they used the cow valve, so I could not tell him he is full of bull! Sometime later, when he is not so weak and debilitated, I will tell him what a pain in the arse he was asking the same questions and making the same statements over and over. I know I would react the exact same way, if I could do nothing for six weeks. Thank God for the T.V. It has only been eleven days and things are just fine, but I am wearing down. However, if I allow myself to think of what I would have done had he died --- too much to even contemplate. You, who are young and own the world have no idea what lies ahead. If you were to think of your "golden years", you could not imagine the thoughts and feelings that ramble around in your silvered head and the regrets that multiply over the things you have never done. Do them! Get off your butts and do whatever it is that you think you will get around to someday in the distant future. It is not so distant!

Upon Seeing the Difference Between Ages

Reading the blogs of other people, somewhat younger people --- makes me feel that the boat came in and I missed it. Their words are so upbeat and cutesy. Is it that we of a much older generation have stopped growing or is it that they think they are more chic and sophisticated than real life? At twenty, thirty and yes, even forty, we were not given the freedom to express the longings and burdens of our hearts. Alas, we come to the later years and once more have no freedom --- another generation has taken the reins from our hands and are whipping the horses into a frenzy of activity. We are clueless and limited by our narrow upbringing in the fifties. Beaver's mom truly did exist and morality was not merely an ideal of a simplistic society, but a tried and true path from which we were tempted, but afraid to stray. The unknown along the wayside held too many evils and we knew the prize that waited beside the straight path. How are young people so unafraid to try all the temptations along the way? Do their parents bail them out of trouble until they are old enough to have experienced all the unfettered joys of this world and can step onto the straight path and claim the prize? Unfair is the only word I can think in reference to the bright, new citizens of the world. We didn't get to do it all! Perhaps, I will start to live a free and spirited life when I am old enough --- old enough to "dance as though nobody is watching".

Thoughts on late life

It's late in the evening, but even later in life. Once sixty-five has come and gone, you are left looking into a glass darkly --- the things you always thought you would do someday are suddenly unimportant and not even very interesting any more. You begin wondering what was so wonderful about a trip along the "left coast highway" or seeing Vermont in the fall. Living a few more years is suddenly a priority. Seeing your grandchildren launched successfully into the world is a priority. You pray to be healthy enough to take care of yourself and your mate to the very end, without having to depend on the already overburdened children in your life. Learning that my husband will in most probability be having a couple of porcine heart valve grafts scares me for him. I don't want to be frightened, --- I want to trust in God that he will have many more years on this earth, but I wonder what life would be like without him. Unbearable! He is my best friend, companion, lover, my life as I know it. He is not afraid to die, but is afraid of the surgery. I can tell by the comments he makes. I would be scared to death to face something like that. How odd! How can you be scared to death and yet, not die? We are running around trying to fix things around the house --- against that day, or possibly to enjoy for a few more years? I watch the shows about clearing out your "stuff" and think that someday, I'll clear out some of my "stuff" so my kids won't have to go through fifty years of accumulating, but death will probably surprise me by coming when I least expect it and certainly before I am ready. I think I am having a bad day. Maybe, the sun will shine tomorrow.

I Have to Begin Somewhere

Since I have to begin somewhere, I'll begin by saying thank you to my darlin' granddaughter for showing me where to blog. Kacey