Wednesday, August 23, 2006

So, you're a nurse, too?

One of the other bloggers mentioned being a nurse. So, I thought I would quickly give you a taste of hospital humor ---

Doctor, leaning over a patient just recovering from anesthesia, "I have good news and bad news, which do you want first?"

Patient, "Give me the bad news first."

Doctor, "I had to amputate both your legs."

Patient, "OMG! After that, what could possibly be good?"

Doctor, "Your roommate wants to buy your slippers!"

Second scenario:

Doctor, "Good news or bad news first?"

Patient, "Give me the bad news."

Doctor, "I amputated the wrong leg."

Patient, OMG, what could be good about that?"

Doctor, Your bad leg is responding to treatment!"

You see, nurses work through blood, sweat and tears. They eat lunch between emptying bedpans and cleaning barf off their scrubs. So, in self defense and to keep from fleeing, screaming from the hospitals --- we hear and tell truly tasteless jokes and laugh before the
tears start.


momofalltrades said...

You nurses are a sick lot. ;O) My friend Ethel is a nurse too. She's the one I can tell ANYTHING and know it's not going to rattle her one, little, bit.

molly said...

I thought they were funny!! Here's a true one, told to me by the person it happened to, another O.R. nurse. Amputated limbs had to be wrapped and hand-carried by nurse to morgue for storage. This particular nurse, a very funny person, who could see the humor in anything, wrapped the limb, then threw a sheet over it and carried it cradled in her arms as she took it on the freight elevator down to the morgue. On the way down, the elevator stops, and a couple of lost visitors get on, on their way to the lobby. One visitor, a woman, sees my friend and coos,"Oh my, isn't that sweet, a baby," as she reaches her hand out to pull back at the sheet on the 'baby's' face. My friend, horrified, does the first thing she thinks of and yells at her, "Lady, it's not a baby, it's a leg."
To hear my friend tell it, the woman jumped back and plastered herself against the elevator wall, horrified and shrieking until the elevator door opened, when her husband hustled her out as my friend watched and then my friend began laughing like a maniac. I can just hear her. She always says that she's lucky she wasn't fired for that one. She deposited the limb in the morgue as per policy and made her way back to the OR. She still works there to this day, and is one of the finest nurses I know. You're right. the kind of work we do is so unnatural, this sick kind of humor is our way of coping. Most of us are very kind people and wouldn't hurt the feelings of another human being for anything, but the absurdity of the things we do sometimes is just too much for the mind to comprehend. if you don't see the humor in it, you can't do your job, you have to go into a different line of work.

Veronica Mitchell said...

My mom is a nurse, and one kind of joke never seems funny to her: poop jokes. She's just had to deal with too much of the real thing.